Thief
Thief, also known as Prince Elf of the Khee'Bler clan, is character from 8-Bit Theater. Thief is one of the four Light Warriors and of the four, he is the most greedy. Role in the Comic A cunning, racist, cruel, and diabolically skilled pretty-boy thief and lawyer who was formerly known as the Prince of Elfland, Thief secretly left his kingdom in order to raise money for a cure for his dying father. He secured funds by stealing anything and everything around him that wasn't both nailed down and on fire (and some things that were just nailed down), pawning it all off and sending the money to his "overseas account". He also maneuvered Fighter into signing a binding contract over the then-forming Light Warriors, making Thief the permanent group leader and entitling him to first dibs on everything the group discovered (especially treasure), with the exception of any swords Fighter decides he likes. He rarely fights, preferring to let others do his work for him while he furthers the team's goals elsewhere in secret. When he is forced into combat, he can be seen using and twirling twin knives at high speeds. Thief also has a tendency to ambush opponents from above and delights in backstabs. Thief and almost every other elf are incredibly egotistical. Elves firmly believe that they are superior to all other races and are happy not to know too much about them (for example, preferring not to know about "the incomprehensible mating rituals of us filthy non-elves"). Their mythology goes so far as to explain that all other races and even some of the Gods exist in order to have gotten all the terrible genes out of the way so elves could be made as the ultimate creatures. However, Thief has implied that the elves were among the first races to populate the world, so this is a strange contradiction. Continuing the elven superiority complex, as well as their self-contradictory mythology, elves believe that the Gods made themselves in the image of elves. Despite their high opinions of themselves, Thief and elves in general are not above making stupid mistakes; for example, Thief failed to sufficiently answer the question as to why elves have technology on par with humans, despite having a 9,000-year head start as well as being reminded that the Elves are hardly a united race. Thief's extremely long life (possibly immortality) is tied to the status of the Earth itself. This is further developed when the Light Warriors visit Elfland and eventually defeat Lich von Vampire, who was tainting the Earth Orb. When the situation with Thief's sick father was resolved, Thief continued stealing and scamming just because he could. He can steal almost anything, even if it isn't necessarily real; he attests that he can "steal souls and secrets.]" He has command of an elite group of elven warrior lawyers known as law-ninja, who help him enforce the various binding contracts he has over the team. He is also the inventor and copyright holder of "Super Ultra Fine Print", an extremely tiny font which he adds to every contract in which he is held responsible for something, allowing him to opt out of it (mostly by adding the word "not" or "do not" right before important sections). Finally, he is responsible for dissolving Elfland's collection agency and instituting the I.R.S. (International Revenue Service), which collects taxes from everyone in the world and audits those who can't come through with the money. Interestingly, the auditors are the former Giant Cannon operators. Thief shares with his race a pathological hatred for dwarves. But somehow his beating from Berserker were never related to it. In their first meeting Berserker threw an axe on Thief's head because he attacked his partner Ranger. In their second, Thief angered Berserker for calling him a hobo, and the following beating almost killed Thief. Thief then fell into his own personal Hell, where he had every single thing in the world, thus, depriving him of his ability to steal. It was at that moment when Thief met Raven, a trickster God (sent by Cleric), who managed to out-con Thief with a mysterious contract. The only other characters to ever trick Thief are Dr. Malpractice, Akbar, the Dark Warriors and, recently, Red Mage. Black Mage has a certain level of respect for Thief's willingness to wantonly ruin or kill other people for his own gain - even when one of those people is often Black Mage himself - as well as being relatively smarter and saner than others. Thief was supposed to face the representation of Greed, or Avarice, in the Castle of Ordeals, but due to a mix-up, Black Mage ended up facing and beating it, making Thief the only Light Warrior who didn't actually face his personal ordeal. When Thief changed his class to a Ninja, he gained the abilities to "throw anything" (including teammates) at foes and to counter-attack with blinding speed. He claims to have stolen his Class Change from the future, so he may also have gained improved stealing skills (although, considering his amazing skill at stealing before, it may be impossible to improve his abilities in this regard). Other skills acquired when Thief changed his class to Ninja include Darkvision (his term for night-vision), the ability to Double-Jump, and (though he has only threatened Fighter with this and has never used it) a special "Ninja-Punch" as explained in Episode #744. Category:Characters